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healing-broken-heart

14 Surefire Strategies That Will Restore Your Broken Heart from Breakup Heartbreak

There are two facts we need to acknowledge about breakups.

Breakups are rough.

In some ways breakups are like experiencing the death of a loved one. The loss is tremendous. Your shared dreams and plans for the future, the beautiful connection and relationship you invested time, emotion, and energy into, and your best friend are all gone unexpectedly.

In some ways breakups are worse than the death of a loved one. At least with a death, the person didn’t choose to leave you. At least with a death, the person didn’t fail to do everything possible to make your relationship work. At least with a death, you don’t have to keep seeing the person over and over again after the relationship has ended.

Breakups need to be taken seriously.

Nearly every adult has been through a breakup. But just because breakups are common doesn’t mean that they are insignificant. Breakups strike right to the heart of who we are as people. Breakups really hurt and how we respond to a breakup can make all the difference in the world.

How you handle the grief and hurt from your breakup is really important. Here are some helpful strategies to help you heal.

1. Recognize the Process

Coming out of the pain of a breakup is a process. It has been said that ‘Time heals all wounds’ and it really is true that time is an important part of healing broken hearts.

healing-broken-heartSuch a major loss results in grief. Grieving is a process. In fact there are five stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and… finally… Acceptance.

We all like to take shortcuts, but shortcuts aren’t always a good idea. To fully free yourself from all of your hurt, disappointment, and grief, you will need to allow yourself to go through the natural grieving process.

That whole process of grieving really is natural and really will be key to your healing.

2. Value Your Progress

The grieving process is a journey towards healing and restoration. Keep an eye out for landmarks along the way. Recognize essential aspects of grieving along the way. Celebrate small steps toward healing such as getting out into the community, having lunch with a friend, and waking up with hope. You are making progress. That means that in time your journey through the grieving and healing process will be complete.

3. Release Your Feelings

Those powerful feelings in you need to be released. Stuffing them down is not healthy. If you hold all those emotions in, then you will not get truly free from them and they can become toxic to your wellbeing.

Give yourself permission to relax and roll with the emotions. Cry, scream, just let those emotions out. This is so important to your healing.

4. Give Yourself Space

You of course have to adhere to acceptable behavior at work and you don’t want to disturb neighbors with your screaming. That is why you need to create safe spaces in your life for releasing emotions. Give yourself a set time for crying — a time when you know it will not affect your job or your parenting responsibilities — and cry. Drive out to the countryside and with your windows rolled up scream. Let it out in the space you have created for releasing your feelings.

5. Give Yourself a Break

Many workplaces give people time off for grieving the loss of a loved one. Workplaces don’t, however, give time off for breakups. But that doesn’t mean you don’t need some time off. If you have vacation time saved up, consider using it. Give yourself a personal day.

Allow yourself to spend a day in your pajamas. Rest and heal. You have a lot to process so give yourself a break from other daily activities so you can focus on processing your loss and feelings.

6. Connect with Supportive People

Some people are really good about being empathetic and caring. These are the people you want to connect with at this time. Tap that call button on your cell phone.

Allow people who care about you the privilege of being part of your support team during your time of need. You know you would want your best friends and close family members to call you in their time of need. Well, this is your time of need and they want to be there for you. So, let them. Healthy relationships bring healing.

7. Write a Letter

You probably have a lot of questions and thoughts for the person who broke your heart. It is actually very healthy to express these questions and thoughts as words. Expressing those words is a great way to acknowledge and release your feelings.

Since it’s probably not a good plan to say all these things right to the person’s face, writing a letter is a good way to release your words to the cosmos.

Just let the words flow. Let it all out onto paper. Then, read the letter out loud. This is a good time to let that lump in your throat grow and let the tears flow. Let it free and so will you be.

You should not send the letter. The letter is for you, not for them.

You may wish to ceremonially rip up the letter after it has served its purpose. With each tear of the paper imagine your words and emotions being released to the universe.

8. Raise Positive Energy

While crying into the pillow and sleeping in serves its purpose and is important to the healing process, getting out of your bedroom is helpful too. Getting out into the sunshine and getting a little exercise raises positive energy in your body. Get out and take a walk, take a bike ride, walk the dog, check out the garden. It’s good for you and will also help give you a bigger, brighter perspective than you’ll find in your bedroom.

9. Avoid Big Decisions

This is not the best time to make big decisions. Put big decisions on the back burner for a time. All those big feelings and the big changes happening in your life right now can warp and cloud your perspective. It is best to save those big choices for a time when you have your feet on the ground again.

10. Rekindle Connections

Now that you aren’t spending all your time with that special someone, you have the chance to get in touch with people who you might not have talked to in a while. See how they are doing. Let them know how you are doing. You had a lot of people in your life before you were in a relationship and they are still there now. You just have to connect with them. It’s as easy as sending them a message on Facebook or pushing a button on your cell phone.

11. Care for You

There are certain things we do every day that are just plain healthy. Eating a well-balanced and nutritious meal, brushing your teeth, taking a shower, and exercising are all examples of healthy life activities. While it is okay to slack off on things like exercising and showering for a day or two, it is helpful to resume these activities as soon as you can. These healthy activities will help you feel better.

It is important to keep your body healthy so your healing and strengthening energy can go towards healing your soul. You are sad and hurt but you still need to eat.

At the same time, beware of overeating, drinking alcohol, or other self-medicating behaviors. You want to deal with the pain – not drown it. It is by experiencing and processing the pain that you will be free of it and healed.

12. Release the Person who Broke Your Heart

Part of your freedom will come from releasing the person who broke your heart.

From your heart give them permission to move forward in life and be happy. Speak a blessing of release and forgiveness over their life.

By releasing them, you are in fact freeing yourself to be healed and move forward in your own life journey. To hold onto bitterness towards them in your heart is only hurting yourself as that bitterness is toxic to your being.

It is okay to acknowledge that they hurt you. But it is important to find in yourself the compassion and love that allows you to forgive them. We all make mistakes. We all have our weaknesses. And perhaps the breakup is for the best as it will allow each of you to walk the journey and find the life partner best suited to each of you.

Let them go and you will be free to go forward with your life.

13. Believe in Your Future

In the valleys of life it can be difficult to see the beautiful journey that lies beyond the sides of the basin-like valley in which we find ourselves.

As you go through the grieving and healing process, keep in mind that this low point in life is only a temporary dip. You have a wonderful future ahead. You have wonderful dreams-come-true and splendid surprises awaiting you. You have a beautiful future to create.

The pain you have now will someday only be a memory and you will someday see a bigger picture and know that everything worked out for the best. Never stop believing in your future.

14. Grow as a Person

Relationships with people are tricky business. From every interaction and every relationship we have lessons to learn. Keep on growing as a person by turning mistakes made into lessons learned.

Each new day brings new challenges, new opportunities, and new blessings. The journey isn’t easy, but it is full of thrills, special moments, and extraordinary miracles. You are a shaper of this world and the world will be better because of you.


Tim Spooner is the author of The Newlyweds’ Guide to a Happy Marriage

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Five Ways of Expressing Love

By Tim Spooner

Expressions of love — and hey this doesn’t only apply to romantic relationships — are ways of showing value and care for a person. There are many ways and each person tends to value, need, do, and recognize certain expressions of love more than others.

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Here are the 5 expressions of love outlined in the popular book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman:

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION – Such as telling someone how nice they look, how well they did on something, how you think they are so strong or smart, or how great the dinner they made tastes.

QUALITY TIME – Spending time together, talking and listening to one another, doing activities together (especially activities that allow for interaction), taking a walk together are ways of showing your value and care for someone.

GIFTS – Giving a gift to someone is a way to show that you care for someone and were thinking about them even when they were not with you. Receiving gifts, likewise, is meaningful to people because it sends a message that they are loved and cared about.

ACTS OF SERVICE – Helping someone by doing something for them is a way to express your care and value for the person. It is especially meaningful when done with a cheerful attitude because the cheerful attitude expresses that you really WANT to help the person because you really care about the person’s well-being and happiness. Driving someone when they need a ride, repairing a broken down car for someone, making them dinner, loaning or giving money, washing the dishes, doing yard work, vacuuming, and babysitting for them are all examples of showing love through acts of service.

PHYSICAL TOUCH – Showing that you care about a person and that walls are down between you can be done through physical touch. Giving a massage, a hug, or patting or rubbing their back are some examples of showing your care about a person through physical touch.

Sometimes there is a disconnect or miscommunication of love when two people have two different love language preferences.

Let’s say you really feel loved & show love through WORDS OF AFFIRMATION but your partner really feels loved & shows love through ACTS OF SERVICE. You might feel like you aren’t loved because your partner doesn’t say much about how they feel about you. Meanwhile, your partner is busting his butt mowing the lawn for you, fixing the car for you, taking out the trash for you, clearing the table for you, and he’s doing all this thinking he is showing you love. He wants to express his love and is doing it how he knows to do it. The important thing to know is that he does love you and is just communicating it a different way than you do.

Or let’s say your partner is a GIFTS GUY. He gets you gifts because that’s his love language. He in turn will most clearly recognize that you love him when you appreciate his gifts and get him gifts too.

We can all benefit from understanding the concept that there are different ways to express love and we need to be on the lookout for how people are expressing love and we can in turn show them love in their own love language to make sure our love is clearly communicated to them.

 

 

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anytime birthday

Anytime Birthday: Celebrate Your Honey’s Life Today!

anytime birthdayMy wife and I are a bit eccentric I suppose because we declare birthday celebrations for ourselves anytime we want to.

The purpose of a birthday is to celebrate a person’s life. Most people only celebrate the person’s life on the yearly anniversaries of their birth.

Of course, an Anytime Birthday does not age a person. Instead, it makes the person feel younger, happier, more special, and more appreciated. The Anytime Birthday has nothing to do with age — it is only about the wonderfulness of that person’s life.

You can show your sweetheart how much you love them by declaring an Anytime Birthday for them today or later this week. During an Anytime Birthday, the birthday girl or boy gets to choose whatever they want throughout the day. They get to pick the movie they want, the restaurant they want, the appetizer and entree they want, the day’s activities they want, and the prayers and thoughts are focused on the value of that person’s life.

Of course, each Anytime Birthday is shaped by the wishes and preferences of the person we are celebrating that day. If that person likes ice cream or cake, well, then we will need to get that person some cake and ice cream! If the person prefers chocolate candies, then that is what we will get for them.

Our sweetheart should also get plenty of affection and words of appreciation so they know that they are very much loved and valued by us.

Can you see why life celebrations such as these should not be limited to once a year? Can you see how they make life and our relationship with one another so much richer and more glorious?

Enough said, don’t you think it is about time to declare an Anytime Birthday?

Tim Spooner is the author of the free e-Book The Newlyweds’ Guide to a Happy Marriage

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the newly married couple arguing

Accentuate Positive, Eliminate Negative: 6 Ways to Spice Up Your Marriage

The secret to wedding bliss isn’t a whirlwind romance, over-the-top gestures and exotic vacations around the world. Making your marriage last forever is simple, not filled with elaborate tasks like movies make us appreciate. Keep your marriage happy, healthy and withstand the test of time with these tips:

Build a Friendship

Happy couples are each other’s safe haven. They count on one another to listen and meet their needs. Becoming each other’s best friend helps you acknowledge and respect who the other person is — and there’s a sense of security there. At the end of the day, the best marriages are those where you’re each other’s best friend. With friendship comes true intimacy, trust and confidence in one another: all of which are great qualities for a lasting marriage.

Date Night

Regular date nights encourage happiness and open communication. Couples that had their date nights were, at least, 3.5 times more satisfied in their marriage, The National Marriage Project reported. And what’s better than a date night? A double-date night with your nearest and dearest friends, because bonding with other couples (like during date nights), actually, strengthens your own relationship, a 2010 study at Wayne State reported. Spice up your traditional dinner and a movie night — go rock climbing, racing go-karts or take an afternoon trip to the zoo.

Don’t Forget Your Alone Time

Easier said than done, I know, but taking time for yourself helps your marriage. It’s a struggle for some people to take time away from their family and have a personal day to themselves; but, according to Babble (.com), it’s very beneficial to your marriage. Have you been dying to make that craft you saw on Pinterest? Nows the time. Take an hour a week and take time for yourself. Work on a project or take a trip to the spa.

Sex, Yes Please!

Keep romance alive and make an effort to have sex at least once a week. Don’t let the romance fizzle from your relationship, it’s one of the most common reasons why spouses cheat. Sex can be more than just physical; it’s crucial for the health of your marriage and your emotional connection to one another. Knowing the importance of sex in a marriage is Ed Young. He’s been married to his wife Lisa for over 30 years and recently came out with the book “Sexperiment: 7 Days to Lasting Intimacy with Your Spouse.”

Pastor Young communicates the truth of God with a diverse culture through compelling and creative techniques. He is also the founder and senior Pastor of Fellowship Church in Grapevine, Texas.

Take the Time to Appreciate One Another

Every day you should embrace each other and be thankful for one another. Never let your spouse feel taken for granted. Start your day with one another, and tell each other why you appreciate them and what you love about them. Always live out every day like it’s your last, so never take each other for granted. Life’s too short.

Accentuate the Positive, Eliminate Negative

Don’t dwell on the past and never have a negative state of mind. Unhappy couples focus on all the negatives in the relationships and the “what ifs.” Don’t focus on what your partner is doing wrong, what you wish your partner would do differently or pet peeves your partner does. Power is in the beholder, so instead: Choose to focus on the positives and the good things that your partner does that you love.

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Valentine's Day in April

Valentine’s Day in April!

Valentine's Day in AprilA couple months ago we all celebrated Valentine’s day and hopefully we all met all the expectations of our loved ones. I know my wife and I had a lovely time.

But now I’m looking forward to another special holiday dedicated to love: Valentine’s Day in April (celebrated April 14). Now, before you groan and think, “Geez, just what I need: another holiday to try to live up to.” Let me give you some good news: It’s not an official holiday and your honey doesn’t even know about it.

In fact, that’s the whole point of this holiday! The idea is to surprise your sweetheart with a special evening dedicated to your love for one another. The element of surprise is exactly what will enhance the fun and romance of the evening. She or he will be caught totally off guard and will be very happily surprised that you wanted to celebrate a special romantic night out together for no particular reason at all. No calendar obligations, no expectations from your partner, just a wonderful night of romance.

So, this April 14th let’s surprise our significant others with a wonderful night of romance. You will be amazed at how happy they will be. But make sure you treat this special night with the same care you would for Valentine’s Day — flowers, box of chocolates, dress up, reservations at a nice restaurant, pull out chair for her… you know the drill. Mark it on your personal calendar and make it a special night to remember!

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umbrella-holding

The Most Romantic Gift You Can Give

A while back, I was with family and someone started putting me down. I was surprised when my wife boldly spoke up and defended me and set the record straight. I glowed with love for her at that moment. She did not have to speak up for me. She could have stayed quiet and stayed out of the fray. She could have let me defend myself. Instead, she took the heat of the spotlight away from me and turned it full blast onto herself as she told them that they were wrong about me.

Have you been the recipient of such a kindness as this?

I’m telling you that if you want to claim a number one spot in the heart of the person you love, then look for opportunities to step in and publicly defend your partner.

No one likes to be publicly humiliated or publicly put down. If you will be the one to spare your loved one public put downs and to turn the situation around so that you are actually testifying to the positive qualities of your loved one, you will surely warm his or her heart and become their personal hero. Nothing is more endearing than to see someone stick up for you while everyone is turned against you.

It comes down to the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

This Rule should be applied all the more to your sweetheart and don’t forget to follow this rule when in public. If someone puts down your honey thinking that they can pull you into joining them in mocking or demeaning your loved one, give them a little surprise and stand by your man or woman while the heat is on.

This is truly the most romantic, heart-warming gift you can give.

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bachelorette-party-ideas

Bachelorette Party ideas

Bachelorette Party Ideas by Thomas Morva

There are infinite ways to celebrate a bachelorette party, and your role as the organizer is to identify the bride-to-be’s preference, and find the perfect party idea to cater to that. Remember that every bride has a certain comfort level, so the party should be fun enough to be memorable but not go overboard as to embarrass or horrify her.

If you are planning a bachelorette party for a fun-loving bride, it’s a good idea to have a mischievous theme. She might enjoy an exciting night out with girlfriends in the hottest clubs around the city, or a wild party in a penthouse with a male stripper. Include flowing alcohol, music, and food, and you will surely have a great time. Don’t forget the gifts – tell the invited girls to give something playful and naughty so you can joke around as she opens them.


How To Throw Killer Theme Parties Your Guests Will Go Crazy Over Each and Every Time!

Some brides may be uncomfortable with sexually-themed parties, and if you are planning a bachelorette party for such a bride, play it safe and stick to more wholesome themes. Arrange for an afternoon of massages and spa treatments for a select group of girlfriends, for example, so you can have quality girl talk and help relax the bride as she prepares for her wedding. You can also rent a favorite restaurant and let her and her guests enjoy comfort food and good conversations. If your budget allows it, why not go out of town? Bring everyone to a nice countryside setting and enjoy the views and local culture.

The bachelorette party should not just be fun – it should also be memorable and safe. Here are other ideas to remember:

Keep the guest list relevant. Invite only friends who have been close to the bride at one point in her life. Contact old high school and college friends, childhood playmates, work friends and close female relatives. Avoid inviting people who barely know the bride, in order to keep the party intimate.

If you are planning to have a lot of liquor in the bachelorette party, always have a designated driver. You can either rent a limo or delegate the driving task to a friend who doesn’t drink much.

Finally, have fun. This is the time to let loose and celebrate female friendships. The bride will soon have a new life – it’s your responsibility to make the last moments of her single days unforgettable.


Bachelorette Party provides detailed information on Bachelorette Party, Bachelorette Party Ideas, Bachelorette Party Games, Bachelorette Party Entertainment and more. Bachelorette Party is affiliated with Platinum Engagement Rings.

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Valentine Special

Valentine’s Special – FIVE Love Books FREE — Discover All the Secrets to a Blissfully Happy Relationship!

Have you ever heard about a special offer that is just too good to keep a secret and you had to tell all your friends?

Well, I just found out about a Valentine’s Special being run by the top relationship guru that I know of. He has been on Oprah and has been featured on over 400 radio and television shows.

He doesn’t just talk the talk — he walks the walk! He has been happily married for 17 years and he and his wife have never had a fight. Does this sound unbelievable to you? Well, to tell you the truth, my wife and I have been using many of Michael Webb’s secrets in our marriage of 7 years and we also enjoy incredible happiness and NO FIGHTS in our marriage.

In fact, my wife was just saying the other night, “How is it that after being married for seven years I am still just as in love with you as when we were dating?”

Would you like to know how to keep your relationship THAT fresh? Would you like to know all the secrets to a blissfully happy life together?

All the secrets to a blissfully happy love relationship are all laid out for you in these books — and you can get Five FREE if you take action BEFORE Valentine’s Day.

Here are the books that will guide you to the happy love relationship you were designed for:

Valentine Special

 

Okay, let’s get you your books:

The green one, The Newlyweds’ Guide to a Happy Marriage, was written by me and I’m giving you a Free copy HERE (link opens in new window for you)

Get the five remaining books by Oprah relationship expert, Michael Webb, and by another relationship guru HERE (link opens in new window for you)

This is what you will get on that Valentine’s Special page:

50 Secrets of Blissful Relationships

50 More Secrets of Blissful Relationships

101 Romantic Ideas

Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Wife Says ‘I Don’t Love You Anymore!’

101 Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas

Wow, in all you will get six amazing relationship books that will guide you to the kind of relationship bliss that is rarely even depicted in the movies — and you get five of them free if you get them now!

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He cheated on me – now what should I do?

He cheated on me – now what should I do?

Today I want to share an excellent video comment on the subject of what to do after you find out your man cheated on you. This advice is applicable whether the man in your life is your boyfriend or husband.

The video is by Nicole Gayle who is the author of How to Go from Girlfriend to Wife.


I encourage you to check out Nicole’s website:

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500intimatequestions

How to Turn Your Man into a Romantic Genius Overnight

Would you like to turn your man into a romantic genius overnight while taking your relationship deeper and deeper to levels of intimacy you didn’t even think were possible?

The romantic life you are looking for can be unlocked. The key to better romance is Intimate Questions.

You see, if you and your guy ask each other any of these 500 intimate questions you will learn how to make each other happy in ways you never even thought of before.

You will delve deeply into subjects such as dreams, desires, romance, love, and sex. The 500 intimate questions are categorized according to their level of intimacy so you can build up to the appropriate level of intimacy in your relationship before tapping into the most intimate questions.

In the process of going through these questions together, you will learn about one another (and yourselves!) and become experts at making one another extremely satisfied.

Suddenly, he will be doing exactly what you have always wished for but were too shy to suggest or would never even have thought of if it weren’t for the questions.

You’ll both wonder how you ever lived without your newfound intimacy and deeply romantic and sexually satisfying lives.

Read the entire guide to 500 Intimate Questions for Couples to awaken an intimate relationship more fulfilling than you ever thought was possible.


Tim Spooner is the author of The Newlyweds’ Guide to a Happy Marriage and other popular relationship books and articles.

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